隨著我的下一篇論文接近可以發表的時刻,
我越來越怕小人,
因此自己也越來越像小人了。
我們實驗室有個丹麥人,
打從他第一天加入我就跟人說：“他是我這輩子遇過最虛假的人。“
當然 人人都覺得我莫名其妙充滿偏見, 人人都覺得他是個快樂的大好人。
但是我知道他虛偽自私又愚蠢,
因為我看人不是看他說什麼,
而是看他做什麼。
其實我一開始沒那麼不喜歡他。
虛假不是不可接受的缺點。
我天性苛刻,
看人總是先看到缺點,
所以我的朋友們我多是越來越喜歡,
因為我先看到他們一大堆缺點最後才慢慢發覺他們可愛之處。
這個人是派對裡的靈魂,
舞技一流, 風度翩翩。
他的妻子美得像電影明星, 個性又極可愛極好客,
我很喜歡她,
也曾把他視為好同事。
但是一個人不須要大大的背叛我讓我不願再與之為伍。
這個丹麥人很快就表現出他那機會主義者的本色。
他原本是學化工的, 所以生物基礎很差,
實驗室經驗不多, 算術也爛。
他剛來時是第六年博士生, 比我大五歲, 又高我三年級, 卻什麼也不會。
他只會做蛋白質純化和酵素活性測量,
很多基本功都沒有, 連ＤＮＡ電泳都跑不好, 也不會做西方墨點法。
當時他一天到晚問我些笨問題,
同樣的問題重複問好幾次。
因為算術不好, 配溶液常常要我幫他驗算,
而且算出來常常他是錯的。
結果有一天, 他問了我一個問題,
我回答了,
沒過多久老師走進來,
他竟然反過來把我才告訴他的事情“教導“我一遍,
這一類的爛事不一而足,
每次照相時還老要用手環著我的肩膀裝親切,
哼你以為你基努李維啊, 討厭討厭討厭！
我現在在寫的這篇Review,
事實上是與一位生物資訊的人合作的,
在很多方面可以說是原始研究,
但我們考量讀者需求後決定以Review形式投稿。
這個丹麥人在幾年前曾針對另一族的酵素做了類似的研究,
他的東西難度遠比我做的低,
而且我知道真正的分析都是他在丹麥的合作者做的,
最後由他來整理分析的資料,從中獲得結構上的推測並作了酵素的突變和活性測量驗證假說。
這篇也是以review的形式發的。
那篇文章很不錯,
他當第一作者也是應該的,
但他從發了那一篇之後就跩了起來, 忘了自己真本領有幾分。
他發了那篇之後就一直想染指我的東西,
但我當時已經遇到了一個很聰明的生物資訊家與我合作,
因此他每一次千方百計跑來跟我提議要我與丹麥那邊的人合作我都拒絕了。
不久他跟另一個人聯手搶了我們實驗室某個人的project,
雖然我知道這主要是另外那人的詭謀,
我對這丹麥人又多一分戒心。
何況這是我的研究,
我自認我比他有洞察力比他了解什麼是有趣重要的問題什麼不是,
我的研究方向不需要一個比我笨又自以為多聰明的傢伙來混出主意。
現在論文總算接近完成,
他還不死心, 搬出了“老師說的“逼我給他資料做網頁,
我一方面給了他一些東西虛與委蛇, 一方面扣住一些重要資料不給他,
另一方面逼著可憐的李同學偷偷幫我寫網頁。
我現在最擔心的就是他會騙著我老師說他的網頁一定應該寫進我的論文,
再說因為他幫忙做了網頁所以他也要當作者,
那我會嘔死。
或許是我小人之心度他那小人之腹,
但我真覺得與其讓他得逞我寧可不發論文,
一輩子不發也不讓他佔一點便宜。
Gosh I utmost despise, loathe his weasly face.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
personality test results
性向指數76分︰
【擇友標準嚴格，防衛他人的侵入】
重視自我的內在層面遠勝於其他的事，故心理境界線偏外側，防衛他人的進入。
擇友標準十分嚴格，所以朋友數屈指可數，但必然都是十分知心的友人。
外表冷漠，內心卻古道熱腸，這點只有與之交往甚久，得其信賴者方能明瞭。
評斷事物理想色彩濃厚，主觀、不易為人所左右，擇善固執的苦幹實幹型人物，
卻也因此露易流於獨善其身，甚至走上「自我嫌惡」的道路。
【擇友標準嚴格，防衛他人的侵入】
重視自我的內在層面遠勝於其他的事，故心理境界線偏外側，防衛他人的進入。
擇友標準十分嚴格，所以朋友數屈指可數，但必然都是十分知心的友人。
外表冷漠，內心卻古道熱腸，這點只有與之交往甚久，得其信賴者方能明瞭。
評斷事物理想色彩濃厚，主觀、不易為人所左右，擇善固執的苦幹實幹型人物，
卻也因此露易流於獨善其身，甚至走上「自我嫌惡」的道路。
Sunday, February 20, 2005
The Village: 1/2 beautiful love story
Spoiler Warning!!! I always talk about the plot so don't read this if you want to see the movie!!!
I watched "The Village" last night. This is directed/written by the same guy who did "The Sixth Sense" and "The Signs".
I have a major problem remembering his last name. His middle name is Night.
The first half and the last bit of this movie was awesome.
The quiet guy who never talks of love. The blind girl who sees love through his cold facade.
The demented young man who loved them both.
The passionate girl who declares her love with no notion that she could be rejected.
The leader of the elders who never touches a specific woman for fear of his own desires.
Night is a master of succinct dialogues.
He knows that real people do not speak the way they write, so the best way to make dialogues beautiful and real at the same time is to keep them short. Also, country bumpkins do not tend to elaborate themselves and are generally shy in speech.
All of that, however, is just a choice a style. There is a deeper reason for succinct dialogues in a movie of love.
Movies are by nature closer to real life than books and songs. In a movie you don't need to comprehend everything through words. You can see the colors of the skies and the trees, you can hear the characters breathing and sighing, and you can see the hand of a person touching or not touching another. In a world so swamped with catchy phrases, it is refreshing that Night reminded us once again that we should focus on what people do, not what they say.
No, not what they say, and certainly not what you think they imply by the things they say.
(Oh what a long lesson it's been for me to learn THAT simple notion.)
In this movie of love, the first thing the girl said to the guy was about his rejection of her sister and his color.
She was explicit that he was special: he was the only one she could see other than her own dad.
The first thing he said to her was:"You run like a boy." What a compliment.
And then he did not say anything remotely romantic to her until the most touching scene, in which he didn't say anything either.
All she did was stretching her hand out into the unseen danger outside and repeatedly refused her sister to close the door when she believed he was still outside, in danger.
All he did was grabbing her hand right before the creature approached and dragged her into the cellar.
None of these would have been remotely romantic if we hadn't known that he has not touched her for years. Nor if we hadn't known that she knew he didn't touch her because he fears his own desires.
The same love theme replayed itself at her sister's wedding. The girl was dancing and enjoying herself with other boys and the guy was nowhere to be seen until the creatures attacked again. He appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her hand. Never saying a word.
But I think the love story went a bit downhill when she forced him to speak of love. He said a bit too much. I think that was out of his character. A taciturn man simply does not carry on monologues like that.
Back to the love theme.
After all, movies are about fantacies. Lucius Hunt does not exist in real life, though I dare say he exists in the fantasies of many a young woman. What girl would not want a man who adores you so much that he could not bring himself to touch you ever? The combination of strength, handsomeness and silent melancholy is already too good to be true; adding endless adoration to it should conquer any woman.
Unfortunately, it is always the fantasies that do us in, us foolish girls.
In real life, if someone does not hold you when you fake tripping over, it certainly does not mean they care too much for you and they don't want to show it. In real life Ivy would have been devoured by the creatures long before anyone come to rescue.
The story line finally disappointed me when Noah tried to kill Lucius, and from that point on everything just "Hollywooded".
From the characters you see in the first part of the movie,
Noah would never kill anybody, least of all Lucius.
Niether Ivy or Lucius would not be so careless with Noah to not try to console him.
Ivy would not go slap him repeatedly after the incident.
Noah would not try to kill Ivy in the woods.
Ivy would know it was Noah in the woods. Remember, she is blind and she played with Noah way too much to not know.
After all, Noah was only mentally retarded. That does not mean he is a psychopath with no empathy.
If the ending with the partol cop wasn't so brilliant, I would say the movie was ruined half way through.
Well, at least the first half was a uncommonly beautiful love story.
I watched "The Village" last night. This is directed/written by the same guy who did "The Sixth Sense" and "The Signs".
I have a major problem remembering his last name. His middle name is Night.
The first half and the last bit of this movie was awesome.
The quiet guy who never talks of love. The blind girl who sees love through his cold facade.
The demented young man who loved them both.
The passionate girl who declares her love with no notion that she could be rejected.
The leader of the elders who never touches a specific woman for fear of his own desires.
Night is a master of succinct dialogues.
He knows that real people do not speak the way they write, so the best way to make dialogues beautiful and real at the same time is to keep them short. Also, country bumpkins do not tend to elaborate themselves and are generally shy in speech.
All of that, however, is just a choice a style. There is a deeper reason for succinct dialogues in a movie of love.
Movies are by nature closer to real life than books and songs. In a movie you don't need to comprehend everything through words. You can see the colors of the skies and the trees, you can hear the characters breathing and sighing, and you can see the hand of a person touching or not touching another. In a world so swamped with catchy phrases, it is refreshing that Night reminded us once again that we should focus on what people do, not what they say.
No, not what they say, and certainly not what you think they imply by the things they say.
(Oh what a long lesson it's been for me to learn THAT simple notion.)
In this movie of love, the first thing the girl said to the guy was about his rejection of her sister and his color.
She was explicit that he was special: he was the only one she could see other than her own dad.
The first thing he said to her was:"You run like a boy." What a compliment.
And then he did not say anything remotely romantic to her until the most touching scene, in which he didn't say anything either.
All she did was stretching her hand out into the unseen danger outside and repeatedly refused her sister to close the door when she believed he was still outside, in danger.
All he did was grabbing her hand right before the creature approached and dragged her into the cellar.
None of these would have been remotely romantic if we hadn't known that he has not touched her for years. Nor if we hadn't known that she knew he didn't touch her because he fears his own desires.
The same love theme replayed itself at her sister's wedding. The girl was dancing and enjoying herself with other boys and the guy was nowhere to be seen until the creatures attacked again. He appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her hand. Never saying a word.
But I think the love story went a bit downhill when she forced him to speak of love. He said a bit too much. I think that was out of his character. A taciturn man simply does not carry on monologues like that.
Back to the love theme.
After all, movies are about fantacies. Lucius Hunt does not exist in real life, though I dare say he exists in the fantasies of many a young woman. What girl would not want a man who adores you so much that he could not bring himself to touch you ever? The combination of strength, handsomeness and silent melancholy is already too good to be true; adding endless adoration to it should conquer any woman.
Unfortunately, it is always the fantasies that do us in, us foolish girls.
In real life, if someone does not hold you when you fake tripping over, it certainly does not mean they care too much for you and they don't want to show it. In real life Ivy would have been devoured by the creatures long before anyone come to rescue.
The story line finally disappointed me when Noah tried to kill Lucius, and from that point on everything just "Hollywooded".
From the characters you see in the first part of the movie,
Noah would never kill anybody, least of all Lucius.
Niether Ivy or Lucius would not be so careless with Noah to not try to console him.
Ivy would not go slap him repeatedly after the incident.
Noah would not try to kill Ivy in the woods.
Ivy would know it was Noah in the woods. Remember, she is blind and she played with Noah way too much to not know.
After all, Noah was only mentally retarded. That does not mean he is a psychopath with no empathy.
If the ending with the partol cop wasn't so brilliant, I would say the movie was ruined half way through.
Well, at least the first half was a uncommonly beautiful love story.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
亂改的雜湊
誰說愛情不能不要下圍棋？
雖然棋力進步 腦袋卻痛苦！
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
也許你童年缺乏人跟你下棋
也許你過去獲勝都太不容易
也許你習慣別人輸棋 也許
也許你喜歡看我賴皮
等到我真的動了氣
只怕你願棄子投降也已經來不及
愛你 難道一定要陪你下圍棋？
難道要滿盤皆輸 你才高興？
愛你是個難題 愛你是個難題
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
張曼玉說 為什麼你不擋我的劍？
我說 為什麼你不黏我的叫吃？
雖然棋力進步 腦袋卻痛苦！
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
也許你童年缺乏人跟你下棋
也許你過去獲勝都太不容易
也許你習慣別人輸棋 也許
也許你喜歡看我賴皮
等到我真的動了氣
只怕你願棄子投降也已經來不及
愛你 難道一定要陪你下圍棋？
難道要滿盤皆輸 你才高興？
愛你是個難題 愛你是個難題
＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊
張曼玉說 為什麼你不擋我的劍？
我說 為什麼你不黏我的叫吃？
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