You should have realized by now

That I hate you more than anybody in this world.
I hate you more that I hate Hitler, Bin Laden and Kim Chung-Il added all together.
If I could choose between punching you till your teeth fall out and punching those three madmen, I would punch you.

Yes, of course this is fxxking personal. It took me more than five years to finally realize that what is wrong with me is that I don't hate you as much as I should. I wish you succeeded when you said you wanted to commit suicide; that would have at least made you a man of your words. That would have at least made the liters of my tears worthwhile.

I hate you. Every time I see your name I want to throw up. Did you not say you will get away and fxxking STAY away? Your getting married does not nullify all the nasty things you have ever said and done to me. You are the quintessential asshole. In essence you are no different from the woman I strongly dislike at work. And by the way, I would be friends with HER a million reincarnations before I am friends with YOU again.

I hate you. I wish you never existed. And since you already existed when I was born, I wish I never went to that school so that I got to know you. I am willing to give up all the wonderful friendship I enjoyed the last 15 years so that I could live without a trace of you in my memories. I cannot believe how blind I was. I, who proud myself in the ability to see people as they are.

I don't fxxking care if it is "unfair" of me to hate you this much. You were this huge black hole in my life that sucked away everything that was beautiful in my young heart. You were fxxking oblivious. You think you were the one who was hurt, and you blamed me for repeatedly "dragging" you into my fxxked up life. Well, guess who fxxked up my life? Who scorned at everything I was interested in as nothing important and cruel? Who never lifted a finger to help me when I needed help? Who fxxking dumped me without a single reason when I was at the lowest point of my life? Who came back to me, again and again, while I was trying to move on with my life, to ask for fxxking "friendship"? I told you a long time ago that there was no going back. You can either love me or if you give up, get out my life forever. I was not the one who started this shit, and I was not the one who wanted out. I cannot believe my eyes when I saw you wrote:"I cannot allow myself be dragged into you again..." Of course, how could anything, ever, be your fault, Mr. Perfection?

Every time I got reminded of you I regret all the wrong choices I had made when I was young. If I had chosen any other boy who were interested in me, I might have learned what real love is much earlier. If I had walked away from you earlier, I might not end up so damaged psychologically. If I had ignored your requests to reconnect, I might not know that I could hate anybody this much.

I actually had a point before I started writing this. When I ask a question, you can bet it is not directed at you. You do not exist in my world. I am not interested in anything you have to say, and I am not alone in that aspect. By the way, I suggest you not to give stupid advices to people when you don't know fxxking shit about the subject. Having a PhD does not mean you know more about everything than other people. And the world does not fxxking revolve around you, no matter how hard you believe in that shit.

I am now trying my best to forget all about you and how you badly treated me in the past. When I eventually succeed, I may be able to treat you with limited civility as I would a stranger. That, however, is not a promise.