You gotta be kidding me! (rant)

Okay, I've tried very hard not to talk about the annoying person at workplace on the internet, for both my legal and karma paranoia. But the last straw happened today, I cannot keep my silence any more.

Listen, girl: you are 34 years old and you are still acting like a fxxking child. The only reason that nobody likes you in this tiny lab is because you failed, again and again, to treat the rest of us as fellow human beings. Well, guess what, when everyone is constantly terrified of you and your unpredictable temper, no one will risk her neck inquiring about your latest vacation. We did not gang up on you; we simply individually figured out the safest strategy of dealing with you, which is not dealing with you unless absolutely necessary.

There was a time when I did not hate you because I thought you may have severe chemical imbalance that prevents you from acting nice. But then, you obviously have no problem being nice to people of higher rank and better publication records. You also have no problem of being nice to any of us for about 2 weeks when you need reagents or protocols. My conclusion is that you are not merely ill, and that you are evil.

Here are the evidences that you are evil:
1. You managed to drive away a brilliant student because you were afraid he might infringe on your project. After that you managed to make another brilliant student cry every other day for a couple of months.

2. I have yet to hear you say anything nice about anybody, including your "good friends" and out wonderfully nice boss.

3. You cannot stand it whenever I tell you how smart/competent/hardworking the student or the other postdoc in the lab is. I love to watch you stand there speechless for 10 seconds after hearing me rave about how wonderful they are.

4. You think the world really revolves around you and you can't even hide it. Yeah, I believe I am the center of the universe too, but I know it is a sick belief system and should not be advertised when sober. When I talk about other people it does not imply you are not as good. Your reply "but I am a workaholic too!" still makes me giggle.

5. You are constantly waiting to find fault with me and others.
Did I pack up the medical waste the right way?
Did I make the LB?
Did I autoclave the flasks?
Did I sign up for the machine I am going to use?
Did I take back the stir plate from the hood?
Did I still need that heatblock at 100 C?
Who do you think you are? The lab police? It is none of your fxxking business how I pack up the medical waste. Last time I checked you were not the representative of janitors. And I always make so much LB that you don't have to make any on your week. As for the flasks, you are the only person in the lab who thinks that they don't need autoclaving because we use antibiotics. And I did sign up for the machine both online and on the decoy sheet you put up on the wall to fool people into not signing up online. The fact that you can't figure out how to read the fxxking sign-up sheet online is not my problem. It is also not my problem that we only have one working stir plate, and I have to leave it in the hood when it's got a few drops of acetonitrile on it, because I don't want to kill myself and other coworkers. Lastly, leave the heating block at 100 C and don't ask me about it unless you need it too. Again, it is none of your business when and how I do my experiments unless it affects you.

Today you told me that the Europeans are the nicest people in the world. Hahaha! Even if they were they aren't any more since you were born. The European community should probably disown you so that their overall niceness could increase significantly. I don't think you learned much about the history of your own country, eh? How did you guys ever get to own Aruba? Do you even know that your ancestors ruled Taiwan not too long ago? If what you mean by "nice" is invading and bossing other people around, you are certainly the "nicest" human being I have ever met.

I have no hate against the European people. Most of them have been quite nice to me. But I really really hate this particular European person and I cannot wait for the day she leaves. One more month seems so unbearably long.