顯微鏡下的肚臍眼: November 2004

Monday, November 22, 2004

I am so glad

I am so glad that I am not in Taiwan now.

I cannot believe a person so smart could indulge himself to waste all his talents on nothing.

Yes, I am talking about President Chen. Newly re-elected this year, he spends all his time doing negative campaigning talking about stupid issues. Symbolism. Does he actually think that the fxxking symbols mattered? Does he think that he will be fxxking remembered as the wonderful president of tiny little Taiwan who heroically changed the national flag, the national sign, the national anthm and the name of the country?

No, Mr. President. You will only be remembered as the smart ass who fxxked up the economy of the Republic of China for your own pleasure. If you keep on doing this, you might even be remembered as the dumb ass who initiated a civil war in China. Keep up the good work! Unfortunately, you could only be the clown, never the great evil.

Monday, November 15, 2004

心魔

真正的敵人是我的心魔,
並不是心魔所選擇在夢中出現的形式。

已經久久不再夢見的人,
自從十月二日以後不時的在夢中現身,
我想, 也不能責難真正的他,
他不過是寫了一封禮貌的電郵給我而已,
令我夢魘不斷的,
是心魔, 並不能一股腦算在他的帳上。

心魔比真人更難打敗,
因為他們不會因為被你傷害了就夾著尾巴逃跑,
就像仙劍奇俠傳裡的林月如一樣,
真人林月如三兩下就喊痛認輸了,
夢魔月如卻是怎麼也打不死,
可是李逍傜若是打不死他, 就無法回到真實世界。

我要戰勝心魔。

Monday, November 08, 2004

葬禮後的感想

今天去參加了老師秘書的葬禮。

她與卵巢癌奮鬥了十年, 五年前我剛剛加入這個實驗室時,
老師跟我說 She is a living miracle.

卵巢癌非常致命,
發現時往往已經轉移,病人沒有什麼機會。
她很了不起, 熬了十年。

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

儀式在鎮上的天主教堂舉行,
我以前從未參加過任何禮拜或是彌撒,
一切都顯得陌生而不真實, 好像在演一齣戲。

神父不斷的指揮大家站起來坐下有時也有人跪下,
然後念聖經唱歌跟著神父一起祈禱劃十字,
最後還有那個吃奇怪麵包的儀式
（我沒有吃幸好他沒有說大家都一定要吃我覺得他的手摸棺材摸書摸人很髒）

突然覺得這跟小時候開週會本質上好像。

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

神父說跟據他的宗教,
她去了天國,
以後天上還會相見。

我想未必吧,
她大概不會想再見到我了,
雖然相處多年還是有感情的,
但是這世上大部份的關係,
都是斷了也就算了的吧。